The Three Good Things

If you ask a random person for a list of things they are grateful for, you will find that the list is generally very short.

I've taught a great exercise for about ten years called "three good things." To do it, write down three new things you feel grateful for or appreciative of each day. The rule is that you can't use the same one twice.

Understanding Appreciation and Gratitude

Appreciation is all about time. If we want to spend time doing something, it's because we appreciate it, whatever that thing might happen to be. We might like watching clouds, listening to Bird songs, going for a walk, or enjoying the way the sun shines through the window pane.

Gratitude is the recognition that we are uniquely able to experience something that we appreciate. With gratitude, we experience the privilege of having this thing, personal experience, or creature in our lives.

The History of Gratitude Practices

Gratitude practices are not commonly taught in the secular world. In the past, gratitude involved acknowledging a supreme being for life's gifts. If that is you, then carry on. But for most secular people, we need to learn about gratitude.

Starting with The Big Things

When we begin the practice, we normally choose the big things that everyone is grateful for, such as family, friends, properties, cars, holidays, etc.

Moving to Smaller Things

Over time, to find "Three Good Things" each day, you will have to extend it to smaller, everyday occurrences, like appreciating a cup of coffee or the way light illuminates an object. This exercise changes how we view those small experiences.

The Impact of The Three Good Things Practice

This regular gratitude practice helps us notice and appreciate the many small, positive elements of our lives. This can help balance the stream of negativity we get from the media, for instance.

A Gratitude Thought Experiment

Consider a scenario including two people. One person is grateful for everything, and another for nothing. Imagine how you would feel if you were either of those people.

The Silver Linings

Gratitude can also include challenging experiences. Challenges can be opportunities for learning and personal growth. Appreciating challenges can enhance our resilience and help us cope better with future difficulties.

Finding a silver lining in difficult situations can help maintain a positive perspective.

The Dalai Lama's Theory of Happiness

I read a quote from the Dalai Lama: "Happiness is gaining fulfilment from neutral experiences". Most of our lives are neutral experiences, and fulfilment is not needing anything other than what we already have. I have yet to find a better explanation of happiness.

Three Good Things and Positive Psychology

The "Three Good Things" exercise changes how we see the world. I learned it from Shawn Achor's book The Happiness Advantage and have included it in my training since then. He is a positive psychologist from Harvard. It's quite common for me to meet Students after a number of years who have been using it throughout that period.

Try it and let me know how you get on.